Back to the Basics

Well, last time I posted we were in a much better place at school, now we are in a much better place at home as well. We have really gone back to the basics with Jake and we can see a real difference in him. He continues to do well behaviorally at school for the most part but this week the afterschool time has been so much better. Last week when I would pick him up he would start in complaining or whining about something immediately. He would get in the car and yell at Lydia and/or I and start demanding things. He'd usually do better after a couple of hours but still was so resistant and argumentative. We felt like we were walking on pins and needles. Then we had a great weekend full of RDI lifestyle and activities. It started to improve but we were still seeing stimming, which we haven't seen much of at all in recent years and just being annoying and bossy with peers. Then, on Monday I felt we started to turn the corner. We were about to leave for school when he got a bad headache and really nauseated. So, we kept him home from school. I had to run the neighbor kids to school b/c their mom was sick, take Lydia to my sisters to play with my nephew and run a couple of errands so Jake stayed home with Dad. Craig did awesome work that morning I think. He alternated between taking care of him when a wave of nausea would hit and his headache was there and then when he felt better he'd play with him and engage him. By the time I arrived home Jake was feeling well enough to go to school. We decided to take him about noon. (It was 10am) but we went on to have an awesome morning with him so we decided to let him skip the rest of the day. We went out to lunch at Chipotle just the 3 of us and then continued to play while Lydia was down for a nap. You'll see in the videos that Lydia is having to sit off to the side in a lot of them. It looks like we outcast her. But, she is SO THREE! She often can't be involved without taking over and trying to dominate the activity. So, she is now used to being told she will get a turn (which is not on the video for you) but she has to wait. Sometimes we let her have her turn first. The most productive times are when she is napping or something. We like having her involved but it will be easier when she is a bit older and understands a bit of what we are doing.

We haven't done much with peers this week but he played alongside some kids we didn't know at the park yesterday. Some were much younger and some were a bit older and he was fine around them. Last week I think he would have gotten upset at little things that they did and would have bossed them around (or tried to). The most relieving change for me this week was that he was relaxed when I picked him up from school on Tuesday and Thursday. This is something I had not seen before. Usually it is like he is saying to me, "Mom, I have been holding it together all day and people have been trying to "get" from me. Now I want to "get" from other people!" Thus the bossiness, arguing, and controlling begin. Wednesday was tough. Interestingly, that is the day I take his class to lunch, second recess, and help in centers. So, I am with them from 10:50-12, take a 45 min break and come back from 12:45-1:25. Previously, my presence at school really seemed to help him a lot and the days I wasn't there were the harder days. Perhaps he is starting to see on the days that I'm not there that I'm not trying to "get" from him. But, on Wednesday I am having to enforce the rules with the entire class and lead the structure so I am the "getter?" I'm going to watch this and if it continues, I may have to limit how much I volunteer in the classroom. Unfortunately, there are only 2 other parents who are volunteering and at Jake's school the teachers rely on the parents to take the kids to lunch and recesses 4 days a week. They get an aide one day a week to help. If we don't help out, then the teacher doesn't get a much needed break. Jake's class has some ornery boys in it and they will exhaust me in one hour. His teacher REALLY needs a break to be fresh for the whole class for the afternoon. I can really tell the days she has had it with these boys b/c she starts to sounds exasperated with all the children. She isn't the type to hide her frustrations well. That's not a criticism, just an observation. I am the same way. Today is Grandparent's day which is a big hoopla at his school. It is a 1/2 day and the children are doing a patriotic music program and then the grandparents get to sit in on class from 10-12. This could go either way for Jake. It could be way to much craziness and too many people OR it could be a blast b/c his grandparents will be there. I will be there for a lot of it too as I am volunteering so we'll see.

Overall, I am very pleased with his progress the past two weeeks. :)